Mulberry Street – A Mischief of Zombies

Mulberry Street – A Mischief of Zombies

“Mulberry Street” is a first time offering from writers Jim Mickle and Nick Damici, who went on to write “Stakeland”, and “We Are What We Are.” Mickle also directed this one, and that is about as good of a pedigree you will find in the movies I have been reviewing. The problem being, that doesn’t make this movie any better. Unpolished is the nicest way of saying it. Plot wise, a virus breaks out that is being spread by the large rat population. When bit by a rat the victim…

My Desperate Rationalization of the Time Travel in Joseph Kahn’s DETENTION

My Desperate Rationalization of the Time Travel in Joseph Kahn’s DETENTION

I didn’t love DETENTION the first time I saw it. I probably got a little too excited when I heard it was going to be a John Hughes style high school comedy married to Joseph Kahn’s hyperactive directorial style, slasher movie tropes, and time travel craziness. I was a big fan of the over the top zaniness of  Kahn’s  feature film debut TORQUE, and when I read him describe the stunts in TORQUE in relation to Michelle Yeoh’s bike train jump in Jackie Chan’s POLICE STORY 3: SUPERCOP, I realized he…

Paranormal Entity – Americas Most Demonic Home Videos

Paranormal Entity – Americas Most Demonic Home Videos

Before any sort of reviewing, joke making, and general movie nerd raging happens, I would really like to point out that the alternate name for this film is Paranormal Investigations 3. There are apparently two more of these films out there, or at the very least the creators were trying their hand at a joke…Whatever the truth is I am very happy not ever having seen them….if they exist. I always felt that if you were going to rip off a popular movie franchise you should try to at least…

The Unofficial History of Midnight Madness

The Unofficial History of Midnight Madness

I am a Midnight Madness obsessive and have bought a ten ticket pass every year since 2008 (100$ as a student back in the day! R.I.P pass). My favorite movie going memories are the ones I made waiting in line for hours with friends (rain or shine), reacting as one with an audience when a film works like gangbusters, and the long discussions we’d have afterwards at 2 AM over pizza at the Big Slice around the corner of the Ryerson Cinema (R.I.P Big Slice. We loved you so.) Below, you’ll…

River of Darkness – Total Nonstop Awful!

River of Darkness – Total Nonstop Awful!

*Clears Throat* Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls. Bob Blaschuk brings to you a review of a movie that features your favorite stars from Total Nonstop Action wrestling! “River of Darkness” is a full-stop, lack of thrill ride. A film watching experience absolutely packed to the brim with boredom, bad direction, and tedious dialogue. This movie will have you sitting on the edge of your seat, waiting with bated breath and wondering when the action is going to start. You’ve never seen, nor wanted to see, a movie like this!…

Wolf Warrior 2 Is The Best Canon Film That Canon Never Made

Wolf Warrior 2 Is The Best Canon Film That Canon Never Made

  I wasn’t super excited about WOLF WARRIOR 2.  I found the first one fairly middling, with a distinct lack of martial arts, and a waste of Scott Adkins as a villain, so I wasn’t jumping for joy when I saw a sequel was on the way. The first one was a massive hit in China, so I hoped maybe an influx of funds would boost the entertainment value. Wu Jing (the star of SPL 2) directs and stars as an invincible soldier living in a worn torn African country that quickly becomes under…

The Top Five: Forgotten Movie Making-Ofs

The Top Five: Forgotten Movie Making-Ofs

Almost none of the films in this list are great. Most are not even good. It’s the story of their making that is fascinating. #5 – WILLARD: THE YEAR OF THE RAT (2003)  It’s obvious that director Glen Morgan was passionate about remaking the story of a boy and his rat, and tried his hardest to make it count, which makes it extra gutting to watch it all be taken away from him. The doc  does a good job at focusing on the invisible crew members (PA’s and such) without…

The Top Five: Little Rubber Monsters Movies

The Top Five: Little Rubber Monsters Movies

No GREMLINS ALLOWED. #5 – THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (1987)  Urgh. Argh. Eeeeeeeeek! Based on the the hit gross out novelty cards, this is movie equivalent of swimming around in trash and being punctured by a bunch of dirty needs. It’s existence alone warrants itself a place on this list. Do not watch with people you love, for they will not love you anymore when it ends. #4 – CRITTERS 2 (1988)  The most fun CRITTERS film. Directed with flair by Mick Garris (of every other Stephen King adaptation fame). It features…

It’s time to ace ‘GHOULIES III: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE’

It’s time to ace ‘GHOULIES III: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE’

Why do I love little rubber monsters so much? Is it the fact that the monsters represent the unleashed ID of my child self? Or that the monsters reflect the beast that I feel stir inside me on a daily basis, the one that struggles to escape, the one that is the true me? I think I’m thinking too hard about this. As the bald ghoulie rocking a wicked six pack would say: PARRRRTYYYYYYYYYYYY TIMMMMME! Directed by special effects maestro John Carl Buechler (of original TROLL fame) GHOULIES 3: GHOULIES…

A Short and Satisfying Fight with ‘The Final Master’ (REVIEW)

A Short and Satisfying Fight with ‘The Final Master’ (REVIEW)

Lets be honest folks, it’s been pretty slim pickings in the world of martial arts cinema these days. SPL 2 and Indonesia’s HEADSHOT were barn burners, but they were  the exception to the rule. I still get excited when I see something like ‘Sammo Hung choreographed THE MONKEY KING 2 (from the director of SPL 2!) and I always leave the theater asking myself if there actually any fights in the movie (for the record there was a single one done all through CGI) Have we seen the last days of…