Movies are AMAZING. Agree/Disagree

Movies are AMAZING. Agree/Disagree

Well? What do you think? No. Movies are for babies.  Emily Milling Emily is a Toronto based film and audio producer. She watches a lot of movies, it’s a byproduct of living with Justin Decloux, but she loves it. Emily tries to look at films through a feminist lens, and loves a good splatter comedy. http://www.emilymilling.com

Ghostquake – The Haunted Dreams of Danny Trejo

Ghostquake – The Haunted Dreams of Danny Trejo

So, “Ghostquake” is bad. That line alone is probably enough to stop most people from watching this movie. Still, what’s worse than bad is that “Ghostquake” is just extremely boring. See, I can handle a bad movie, and rumor has it that I love myself some unintentionally funny bad films. But a boring bad movie, that to me, is the worst kind of film. It leaves you with the feeling that no one really cared about the finished product, and some executive just needed to fill a quota, or quickly…

South Beach Academy – Feldmania!

South Beach Academy – Feldmania!

Previously in my movie watching life… “I’m sure the other Corey Feldman movie on this two pack can’t be any worse than Rock N Roll High School Forever, can it?” Short answer. Yes! Yes, it damn well can! “South Beach Academy” is really an embarrassment in the history of film. I would also use the term film lightly in this case, as I would classify this more as a menace to your mental health than an actual film. It is an unflushed toilet for your eyes, a garbage fire in…

There’s No Beast Like Snowbeast!

There’s No Beast Like Snowbeast!

When making a monster movie there is a very difficult story decision you have to make very early on in writing. You need to decide whether your film is going to be monster filled right from the beginning, letting your audience see and experience your creature in all its glory, or not showing said beasty until the perfect time, letting the fear and anticipation build until finding that one glorious moment of reveal. Sure, there are probably infinite other writing options too, but they are no fun so I am…

Peelers – Oil of The Damned!

Peelers – Oil of The Damned!

At first glance “Peelers” looked like the type of funny sleazy horror I would enjoy. I mean, look at that poster and tell me you don’t think the people who made this film have a good sense of humor. While it is funny, and at times weird and sleazy, “Peelers” is just too bland overall to be good. Its odd sense of humor does save it from being overly terrible, though. The laughs that are to be had go a long way to making parts of it watchable, but as…

The Curse of Sleeping Beauty – She Ain’t Pretty, She Just Looks That Way.

The Curse of Sleeping Beauty – She Ain’t Pretty, She Just Looks That Way.

I decided to watch “The Curse of Sleeping Beauty” solely based on the cover, which has never really been a good way to pick entertaining films. I knew nothing else about this film going in, but learned in the opening credits it was based on a graphic novel… or a drawing on a napkin. Either way, it has been adapted from something else… Anyway, “The Curse of Sleeping Beauty” actually managed to impress me on the costumes and sets front. At times, they were over the top, but kudos to…

The Rezort: Spelling Mistakes of The Walking Dead

The Rezort: Spelling Mistakes of The Walking Dead

I don’t know what it is about random horror and zombie movies that make me want to watch them. Especially nowadays with the zombie genre. Right now you would be hard-pressed to find a genre that is more played out than the Z. The market has been completely saturated with the low budget walking dead. Still, that has never stopped me from wading through the floating turds out there, and believe it or not, sometimes I get lucky, and a film that isn’t completely awful floats to the top. It…

DARKER DOESN’T MEAN DEEPER

DARKER DOESN’T MEAN DEEPER

“It’s a truth, universally acknowledged, that teenagers are fucking idiots.” Jane Austin said that, and it still rings true today. It’s every human being’s God-given right to be a moody asshole, but that doesn’t make you smart. Brooding all the time doesn’t give you layers, in fact the very opposite, because it’s only when you learn new things, or develop a variety of skills that you can become interesting, and you can’t do either of those things by moping around all the time. Chances are you’ve noticed a trend coming…

Under the Shadow – Review

Under the Shadow – Review

The more I write about movies, the more it will become obvious just how much I love creepy ghosty horror movies, even though I can’t actually handle them when I have to go to bed and turn off the lights. I am terrified of see-through ghost people staring at me from the corner of my room or popping up behind me like a real-life jump scare! And yet I continue to subject myself to scary movies as often as possible because I just fucking love them. Under the Shadow, a…

Weird on the Road with MOTORAMA – Review

Weird on the Road with MOTORAMA – Review

Motorama is pure fever dream cinema and the kind of film that just doesn’t get made anymore: A medium budget David Lynchian road adventure that is equally cock-eyed dark comedy and R rated metaphorical journey that happens to star a kid. It could only exist at a time when producers heard a log line and went “Yea! That sounds fine! Here’s a few million to go do it. Deliver whateverthehellyoumake and we can make up our money on home video afterwards!” The story is straightforward on the surface — a  boy…