Passion Play – The Majestic Flying Fox

Passion Play – The Majestic Flying Fox

I have seen “Passion Play” before today. Now, if you were to have asked me about it, I probably would have said. “It’s a movie where Megan Fox has wings and is a stripper or something like that.” You’d think I had forgotten about it because it’s straight out awful. But this movie has made me question why I remember some awful films, while I completely forget or block out others. The list of reviews I have done for this site alone shows that I have seen some really bad…

Mulberry Street – A Mischief of Zombies

Mulberry Street – A Mischief of Zombies

“Mulberry Street” is a first time offering from writers Jim Mickle and Nick Damici, who went on to write “Stakeland”, and “We Are What We Are.” Mickle also directed this one, and that is about as good of a pedigree you will find in the movies I have been reviewing. The problem being, that doesn’t make this movie any better. Unpolished is the nicest way of saying it. Plot wise, a virus breaks out that is being spread by the large rat population. When bit by a rat the victim…

Paranormal Entity – Americas Most Demonic Home Videos

Paranormal Entity – Americas Most Demonic Home Videos

Before any sort of reviewing, joke making, and general movie nerd raging happens, I would really like to point out that the alternate name for this film is Paranormal Investigations 3. There are apparently two more of these films out there, or at the very least the creators were trying their hand at a joke…Whatever the truth is I am very happy not ever having seen them….if they exist. I always felt that if you were going to rip off a popular movie franchise you should try to at least…

River of Darkness – Total Nonstop Awful!

River of Darkness – Total Nonstop Awful!

*Clears Throat* Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls. Bob Blaschuk brings to you a review of a movie that features your favorite stars from Total Nonstop Action wrestling! “River of Darkness” is a full-stop, lack of thrill ride. A film watching experience absolutely packed to the brim with boredom, bad direction, and tedious dialogue. This movie will have you sitting on the edge of your seat, waiting with bated breath and wondering when the action is going to start. You’ve never seen, nor wanted to see, a movie like this!…

Ghostquake – The Haunted Dreams of Danny Trejo

Ghostquake – The Haunted Dreams of Danny Trejo

So, “Ghostquake” is bad. That line alone is probably enough to stop most people from watching this movie. Still, what’s worse than bad is that “Ghostquake” is just extremely boring. See, I can handle a bad movie, and rumor has it that I love myself some unintentionally funny bad films. But a boring bad movie, that to me, is the worst kind of film. It leaves you with the feeling that no one really cared about the finished product, and some executive just needed to fill a quota, or quickly…

South Beach Academy – Feldmania!

South Beach Academy – Feldmania!

Previously in my movie watching life… “I’m sure the other Corey Feldman movie on this two pack can’t be any worse than Rock N Roll High School Forever, can it?” Short answer. Yes! Yes, it damn well can! “South Beach Academy” is really an embarrassment in the history of film. I would also use the term film lightly in this case, as I would classify this more as a menace to your mental health than an actual film. It is an unflushed toilet for your eyes, a garbage fire in…

The Quest – Stereotype Fight Club

The Quest – Stereotype Fight Club

With Roger Moore passing not so long ago, I really wanted to review at least one of his films that weren’t part of his James Bond days. For me, I feel that the best way to celebrate an actor who brought so much joy into my world is to watch some of his worst films. In a sad and also happy turn of events, I found out that I do not have a copy of “Boat Trip”, so I happily settled for “The Quest.” “The Quest” is an action period…

ROTOR Saves the Day – REVIEW

ROTOR Saves the Day – REVIEW

  Look at that poster. Just soak it in. Okay. Now forget it, because that never happens in the film. This is ROTOR. Yea, it’s your Dad’s friend Jeff. The guy who clung to the memory of 70s cool until he died in that drunk driving accident a few years back. ROTOR is a bad movie of legend. It’s got terrible pacing, zero action and a hero dubbed in a hilarious out of place Texan accent. The titular ROTOR (or ROBOT COP if you want to by the Japanese title) doesn’t show…

The Watcher (2000)

The Watcher (2000)

You may have been browsing through Netflix recently and seen a new thriller called The Watcher. Sure, the poster looks interesting, with a woman’s face in a bird’s silhouette, but do not be fooled! The superior The Watcher came out sixteen years ago! And have you seen the poster for that?! Keanu Reeves in silhouette…with piano wire! Oooh, gives me chills just looking at it. The Watcher is a mediocre crime thriller starring a sleepy and annoyed James Spader and a bloated and contemptuous Keanu Reeves. Spader: The grizzled detective….

YOU’RE REVIEW-ENING IT FOR EVERYONE

YOU’RE REVIEW-ENING IT FOR EVERYONE

A Criticism of Film Criticism By: Ian Butt I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with movie reviews. If I’m being totally honest, I read a ton of them. In fact there’s a good chance I’ll read a few of them while taking breaks between drafts of this essay. The problem is, I’m not entirely sure why I do it. Sure I’m a huge movie nerd, and it only makes sense for me to dive deep into the film criticism world in the hope of gaining new knowledge, but…