Mulberry Street – A Mischief of Zombies

Mulberry Street – A Mischief of Zombies

“Mulberry Street” is a first time offering from writers Jim Mickle and Nick Damici, who went on to write “Stakeland”, and “We Are What We Are.” Mickle also directed this one, and that is about as good of a pedigree you will find in the movies I have been reviewing. The problem being, that doesn’t make this movie any better. Unpolished is the nicest way of saying it. Plot wise, a virus breaks out that is being spread by the large rat population. When bit by a rat the victim…

Paranormal Entity – Americas Most Demonic Home Videos

Paranormal Entity – Americas Most Demonic Home Videos

Before any sort of reviewing, joke making, and general movie nerd raging happens, I would really like to point out that the alternate name for this film is Paranormal Investigations 3. There are apparently two more of these films out there, or at the very least the creators were trying their hand at a joke…Whatever the truth is I am very happy not ever having seen them….if they exist. I always felt that if you were going to rip off a popular movie franchise you should try to at least…

River of Darkness – Total Nonstop Awful!

River of Darkness – Total Nonstop Awful!

*Clears Throat* Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls. Bob Blaschuk brings to you a review of a movie that features your favorite stars from Total Nonstop Action wrestling! “River of Darkness” is a full-stop, lack of thrill ride. A film watching experience absolutely packed to the brim with boredom, bad direction, and tedious dialogue. This movie will have you sitting on the edge of your seat, waiting with bated breath and wondering when the action is going to start. You’ve never seen, nor wanted to see, a movie like this!…

The Top Five: Forgotten Movie Making-Ofs

The Top Five: Forgotten Movie Making-Ofs

Almost none of the films in this list are great. Most are not even good. It’s the story of their making that is fascinating. #5 – WILLARD: THE YEAR OF THE RAT (2003)  It’s obvious that director Glen Morgan was passionate about remaking the story of a boy and his rat, and tried his hardest to make it count, which makes it extra gutting to watch it all be taken away from him. The doc  does a good job at focusing on the invisible crew members (PA’s and such) without…

#1 Cheerleader Camp – Beneath the Bottom of the Barrel

#1 Cheerleader Camp – Beneath the Bottom of the Barrel

Let’s talk about the “Late Night Comedy.” This term encompasses the type of film you would find on during the darkest hours of late night television. Movies created for the sole reason of being watched behind closed curtains after your kids, wife, neighbors, and dog have gone to sleep. A good film of this type has its merits. Although on the cruder side, they normally try to push the boundaries of comedy, but mostly end up pushing the boundaries of good taste. The odd one will even sneak in some…

Burning Bright (2010) – Real Tiger Facts!

Burning Bright (2010) – Real Tiger Facts!

“Burning Bright” is apparently based on a poem from 19th century English Romantic Age poet William Blakes called “The Tyger”. I would not be offended, nor would I know if you took the time right now to go and read this short poem. I recommend you take note of the line where he mentions the half naked woman, and the hurricane…go ahead, I will wait….. Yup, I know what you’re thinking…no half naked woman, or hurricane mentioned. Well, I am no poet or student of poetry, but it seems from…

Ghostquake – The Haunted Dreams of Danny Trejo

Ghostquake – The Haunted Dreams of Danny Trejo

So, “Ghostquake” is bad. That line alone is probably enough to stop most people from watching this movie. Still, what’s worse than bad is that “Ghostquake” is just extremely boring. See, I can handle a bad movie, and rumor has it that I love myself some unintentionally funny bad films. But a boring bad movie, that to me, is the worst kind of film. It leaves you with the feeling that no one really cared about the finished product, and some executive just needed to fill a quota, or quickly…

South Beach Academy – Feldmania!

South Beach Academy – Feldmania!

Previously in my movie watching life… “I’m sure the other Corey Feldman movie on this two pack can’t be any worse than Rock N Roll High School Forever, can it?” Short answer. Yes! Yes, it damn well can! “South Beach Academy” is really an embarrassment in the history of film. I would also use the term film lightly in this case, as I would classify this more as a menace to your mental health than an actual film. It is an unflushed toilet for your eyes, a garbage fire in…

XOXO – It’s A Dance Epidemic!

XOXO – It’s A Dance Epidemic!

I am going to preface this review by saying that “XOXO” is a movie which was not made with me in mind. I do not take part in raves, festivals, drugs, dancing, buses, standing in lines, nor generally going outside if not necessary. So, my review may reflect that in its lack of caring about any or all happenings in this film. Although, I should mention that “XOXO” may also been written by a person who consumes their daily dose of drugs based on the Alphabet, and had just gotten…

The Quest – Stereotype Fight Club

The Quest – Stereotype Fight Club

With Roger Moore passing not so long ago, I really wanted to review at least one of his films that weren’t part of his James Bond days. For me, I feel that the best way to celebrate an actor who brought so much joy into my world is to watch some of his worst films. In a sad and also happy turn of events, I found out that I do not have a copy of “Boat Trip”, so I happily settled for “The Quest.” “The Quest” is an action period…